A Day in the Life of Becky

Finally Myself Again!

2009-03-11T09:21:00.000-07:00

I am finally feeling like my old self again! The old self that I was before the divorce even! Last weekend was wonderful! Carliss and I met one of my friends for lunch on Saturday and then we headed to Commerce to the Outlet Mall. The rest of the time we just caught up on what has been going on with each other and reminiscing about old times!
I took my new medication hesitantly on Friday night. But thank God I had no side effects! I hope that remains to be the case every week! My ankles are still not 100%, but they are so much better. My eyes are pretty much back to 20/20 (with glasses of course). I feel so much better knowing what is going on with my body and finally having a game plan for dealing with it!
My session with my counselor went very well last week. We laughed and cried together, well I cried and she listened! I am learning to let go of all that has taken place in the past year and forgive myself for some of the decisions that I have made! She gave me a wonderful book called He Loves Me to read!
On another note I have found two "toys" that I REALLY want! The first is a GPS! I am horrible with directions and after riding with 3 friends that have one I absolutely have got to get my hands on one! I have been watching a few on Ebay, but I am not exactly sure what I am looking for!
The other new toy that I have my eye on is this Flip Camera. It is a handheld video camera that plugs right into your computer and you can instantly download videos! The software is right there in the camera! I would love to have one before Emily's party next weekend!

This & That

2009-03-06T08:08:00.000-08:00

Well, my appointment went well yesterday! The doctor was very thorough and had a wonderful bedside manner! Unfortunately, I have an autoimmune disorder that causes my immune system to attack my eyes and joints. I am going to be taking an immunosuppressant which is actually a very low does of chemo. This drug will suppress my immune system so that it will quit attacking me! I only have to take the pills one day a week and I will take 6 at one time! It can cause extreme fatigue and some other not so pleasant side effects so please pray that the side effects will be minimal.

On a brighter note. My friend from Savannah is coming to visit me this weekend. We have been friends since middle school! We are just going to hang out and have some "girl" time. I also got a new purse that I love. My dear friend Susan gave me a gift certificate for my birthday so this is what I got:

And the best part was I got a free matching change purse! I am getting so excited about spring and the warmer weather! I am ready for capris and flip flops!

Tomorrow is the Day

2009-03-04T11:54:00.000-08:00

Everyone please say a prayer for me. Tomorrow I have my long awaited appointment with the rheumetologist. Can you believe that I have had an arthritic flare in my right ankle for seven weeks, but now my left ankle and left knee are involved? Joint pain has just become a part of my everyday life here lately! But I know that even with this pain something good will come from it all. If nothing else I am becoming one tough cookie! LOL! I see my Christian counselor today. I have not seen her since the divorce so it will be a reunion of sorts. She always helped me see the brighter side and I am counting on her to do that for me today!

The Cold, Hard Truth

2009-02-05T11:20:00.000-08:00

Who am I kidding? Myself? To think that all is well with me would be a joke! How can I wander through everyday life like everything is fine when it isn't? Who am I? Have you ever asked yourself that question and had absolutely no sense of your own identity? Yes, I am a mother, a teacher, a daughter, and a friend. But who is Becky? I have lived my entire adulthood so far playing a role as if in a movie. I played all those roles above including the role of wife as if following a script of how I thought that things should be. I had an image of what marriage should look like, what sweet adorable children should look like, what a good solid career looks like, what a beautiful home should look like. It was a script totally written by me and me alone! Was I happy?? I thought that I was, but no not really! Then came the strong wind that ripped that script of mine right from my hands. Oh no- how could I survive without it? God taught me that He is the great script writer and it was past time for me to turn to Him as my director! But why do I fight it? Why do I fight to control something that I have no control over, never did, never will! I would be lying to say that I have breezed through the past twelve months. I lost my husband that I adored, moved twice (after losing my house), and most recently spent two weeks barely able to walk! I have been a bad mother, a bad daughter, a bad sister, and a bad friend. I have not been there for anyone else. I have wallowed in my own grief until it has just about consumed me! My mind tells me to move on and smile and that is what my heart wants to do, but you know what- that is much easier said than done! I am sitting here at my computer with the Serenity Prayer staring back at me just as it has since January of last year. But today I sit and read it and remember I have a whole new respect for that prayer. It reminds me that God is in the director's chair and HE knows what is best for me! And He loves me unconditionally!

2009-02-04T12:18:00.000-08:00

OK- this is where my mind wants to be right now! We just took our kids to the bus and it is 36 degrees at 3:00 in the afternoon. It is supposed to be 16 degrees tonight. OUCH! God knew what he was doing when He brought me into this world in this fine state of Georgia! Don't you just long for some warmer weather when you can wear your shorts and flip flops again??

Wonderful Weekend!

2009-02-03T05:02:00.000-08:00

I had a very event filled weekend, but it was great! Friday night Emily and I spent the night at the mall! Yes, the mall! But we weren't shopping! The Girl Scouts had a spend the night event at the Milledgeville Mall and Emily had a blast! Of course we did not even lay down until about 2:45! But it was worth it to see Emily have such a great time! My parents and sister stayed at my house with Jacob. On Saturday afternoon, my Daddy and my sister Amy and I went to see Kooza in Atlanta. It is put on by Cirque de Soleil and it was wonderful. The performers were astounding! It was a great trip!
My ankle is much better, not 100%, but much better! My blood work came back positive for the Rheumatoid factor and my inflammation rate was high so I am being referred to a rheumatologist. I am finally able to walk again after I have been on a steroid for about 4 days. The past few weeks have been very stressful and overwhelming between the move and the horrendous pain that I have been in with my ankle. But I have the best family and friends and they have been such a blessing to me!

What a Week!

2009-01-23T09:13:00.000-08:00

Above is a picture of our neighborhood! I promise to take some inside pictures this weekend! I did not get around to it this week! I have had a tough week this week. Last week my ankle started swelling and I though that maybe I sprained it during the move. Well, by Monday it was three times its normal size and I could not put any pressure on it at all! I decided at 5:00 to go to the After Hours Clinic to have it seen about. The doctor there diagnosed me with gout after doing Xrays. He gave me two injections and a prescription. Well, the prescription made me sleepy, irritable and it hurt my stomach! Oh- how fun! So on top of the fact that I was limping I was also experiencing stomach pain and crying at the same time! I had had enough, so yesterday I finally got in to see my regular doctor. She took about 6 vials of blood and told me that she thinks that I might have Reiter's Syndrome. Reiter's is an autoimmune disorder that effects your eyes (yes, I am in the middle of another episode of iritis) , joints, and the urinary tract (which I have had no symptoms of). The blood work will be back in a few days and I will know for sure!
Other than all that, life has been good! We have settled into our new place and we are happy! The kids spend this weekend with their daddy and I plan to do some things I want to do. Tonight I am eating Japanese with friends and tomorrow I plan to REST!!! Plus I have to do the ordinary stuff too like grocery shopping and cleaning! I never made it to the movie theater, but maybe I will this weekend! I hope that you all have a wonderful weekend!

2009-01-16T04:27:00.000-08:00

Wow- has this not been a long week? I think that the anticipation of a three day weekend has caused the week to drag by! I am SO glad that Friday is finally here! I plan to rest this weekend, but I have some fun plans as well! I am excited about meeting a friend tomorrow for lunch and catching up with her. I have not seen her in 9 months so we have lots to catch up on! I am also planning to go and see a movie. The kids and I will either watch "Marley and Me" or "Hotel for Dogs". My bet is it will be the latter of the two. I really want to see "Marley and Me", but everyone that has seen it tells me to take my tissue! I also want to see "Revolutionary Road". I think that I will wait until the kids are with their daddy to see that one! I might not be doing much of anything if my ankle does not get better. It is swollen and hurts when I walk. Maybe it will be better by tomorrow! I promise to get pictures of the house up this weekend! I finally got batteries for my camera. Happy Friday ya'll!!!

2009-01-14T17:32:00.000-08:00

This is me! Absolutely exhausted! Moving will definitely wear you out! Last week I managed to look for a house, sign a lease, get water, electricity, and cable hooked up, get everything moved in and set up in under 4 days! Is there any wonder that my body is having a meltdown? I really do want to get some pictures of the house up, but I have learned something new. If you leave your digital camera in the car and the batteries get cold, they die! As many times as I have been to the store I keep forgetting to get batteries! I hope to relax this weekend and hoprfully be back into the swing of things again soon!

Ok- I promise to do better!

2009-01-12T11:30:00.000-08:00

Wow- what a week! I broke up with my boyfriend of 7 months and managed to move into a townhouse on Lake Oconee. The new place is beautiful and I think that the kids and I are going to love it! However, I find myself missing Mr. E. But, I know that we weren't meant to be. I wanted him to be the one, but yet I again I am reminded that I don't control that! Sometimes doing the right thing is hardest thing!
The past 12 months have been the toughest in my life. I am so looking forward to just taking a deep breath and being Becky! I want to take some time to do some things for me and the kids. I have realized that I need to focus on loving them and also loving myself! I hope to get some pictures of the new house up soon!

Farewell to 2008

2009-01-05T09:51:00.000-08:00

I have never been so happy to bid farewell to a year as I am the year 2008. As dreadful as it was though I probably learned more in 2008 than I did in the prior 33 years combined. Following is what I learned last year:
1. I am SO loved by my family and friends!
2. I have the most wonderful children imaginable!
3. Material things are useless.
4. I have no control over my life!
5. I have to love myself before I can love anyone else.
6. Everyone does not have to like me or the decisions that I make!
7. I am a beautiful child of God!
8. And that those two wonderful children are God's greatest blessings in my life!

I truly want to take the time to thank all my family and friends. I would not have made it through without the love and support that they gave me. I pray that I can give back just a portion of the love and kindness that I have been shown this past year! Goodbye 2008, hello 2009!!!

Busy, Busy, Sick, Busy!

2008-12-19T06:13:00.000-08:00

This time of year is already hectic enough without throwing in the stomach bug! Emily had it last week, Jacob had it on Wednesday and I had it last night. All this on top of trying to get the rest of my shopping done and teaching 18 super excited second graders. Thank God we head down to Valdosta after school today and I have already packed my pillows! I just might sleep for the 3 hour drive! I hope that the stomach virus has claimed its last victim in my family! But on a happy note- I am super excited about being with my family this weekend! We are going to celebrate Jacob's birthday tonight, we are going to Wild Adventures tomorrow to see the lights and we are having our family Christmas this weekend! I am so ready to get my arms on my Macie! Please pray that we will all be well so that we can enjoy our weekend!!

2008-12-12T10:29:00.000-08:00

“Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison
and expecting the other person to die.“
~ Unknown

I love this quote! It really hit home with me and my current state of mind! The poison has honestly just about consumed me here lately! In fact I think that I have been on a daily dose of some high potency poison! This is something that I definitely must work on!

Happy Birthday Jacob

2008-12-10T09:06:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow my sweet baby boy will be 8! It is so hard to believe that it was 8 years ago that we anxiously awaited the birth of our first child! Where have the years gone?? I am so proud of him and the precious young man that he is! I love you Jacob and Happy Birthday!!!!

I Don't Understand

2008-12-09T05:17:00.000-08:00

How can I have so much to be thankful for and still feel so empty? This Christmas has hit me like a ton of bricks and all I want to do is cry! I am so ready for 2008 to pass. I pray that 2009 will be a wonderful year for me and the kids. I am struggling right now. Every day is an up hill climb. I am ashamed to admit that, but I want to be honest.

2008-12-05T06:05:00.000-08:00

I can't believe that I am just now getting around to writing about our trip to Callaway. We had a wonderful time. It will always be remembered as the two hour trip that took four hours to drive! Don't ask- just know that God has a way of testing our patience! :) We enjoyed the entire trip so much! I absolutely adore my family and there is nothing I had rather do than to spend time with them! All eleven of us stayed in one cabin, but the cabin was HUGE! The gardens and lights were beautiful as always! The trip was as as perfect as it could have been!

Decorating for the Season!

2008-12-04T09:22:00.000-08:00

Tonight we will head out to buy our Christmas tree. I am actually excited about getting it up and decorated! I have got to go through the ornaments and get rid of our "family" ornaments which should be interesting considering I have one for every year since we were married. But you know what- I am ok with it! My Mr. E came and had lunch with me and it made my day. I was feeling down and out and he showed up at my door with a smile and a hug (the kids were at P.E.). God has a way of putting the right people at the right place at the right time! I thank God for my blessings!

What is normal anyway?

2008-12-03T11:08:00.000-08:00

Why is it that the older I get the more I resist change? It almost paralyzes me, the thought of more changes in my life right now. I kind of like the simple life- the life I lived for the majority of my adult life. There are days when I feel that my life will never resemble that "normal" life I used to lead. You know what? I don't think that it was so much normal as it was just a routine that was ingrained in my being. Work, cook, clean, be a mother and a wife, etc. As routine as it was, it was familiar and comfortable. It was "me". I feel like I will never get that part of "me" back that I lost. And honestly, I won't. And as hard as it is I really don't need it back! God has allowed these changes in my life for a reason and as I talked about yesterday I have got to let go and trust Him that He knows best. Please pray that I can feel "normal" in this new life that I lead. I am so blessed and loved right now. Oh and please pray for some upcoming changes that I will face. I will write more about them later.

Letting Go

2008-12-02T08:08:00.000-08:00

I am rereading "Let It Go" by Tony Evans. I read it three times while I was going through the divorce and it was a guiding light for me at the time. I have decided to revisit this old friend of mine yet again. It is strange to go back and see the passages that I highlighted and remember the pain that guided my pen. There are still days that the pain seems so close, but thank God those days are fewer and farther between now! I wanted to share a a few quotes from the book that I highlighted.

Worry is like a rocking chair. It requires a lot of effort, but it doesn't get you anywhere!

To worry about tomorrow is to lose your joy today!

Worry is interest paid on a debt before it is due.

Why is it so hard to let go sometimes? I have let go of so much pain and frustration, but yet I know that there are still some tiny threads that bind me to my past and the betrayal that I felt. I pray that I can cut those ties and truly "let go" and be free.

Like a Kid at Christmas!

2008-11-21T09:49:00.001-08:00

I just can't believe how excited I am about the weekend! How wonderful it is to have a family that you can be so glad to spend time with! The vehicle is packed and as soon as the kids and I get home we are on our way! I hope to have lots of good pictures when we return. Ya know what... I don't think that we should ever get too old to be excited!!!

There are Some Perks!

2008-11-20T07:03:00.000-08:00

There are some times that I love being a teacher and next week is one of them. I am so ready for a break! I am so excited about having the entire week off for Thanksgiving that I can hardly stand it! We will have Thanksgiving with my family at the cabin this weekend and on Thanksgiving we will eat with Ernie's family. E and I will Christmas shop next week and I hope to hang out with my girlfriends one day! I am SO READY for some time off!! It will probably be a while before I post again. I won't have much computer access next week! I hope that you all have a blessed Thanksgiving!

2008-11-18T11:36:00.000-08:00

This weekend is planned and I am ready to go! We will spend the weekend with my family in a cabin near Callaway Gardens (all 11 of us) and we have tickets to Fantasy in Lights! I am so excited! Finally life seems to be moving on for me and the kids! Plus- Mr. E and Colton are going with us! I will let you know how the weekend goes when we get back!

2008-11-17T05:24:00.000-08:00

We had a WONDERFUL weekend! We first went through Snellville and saw where Ernie grew up and visited some old friends of his. We then saw the King Tut exhibit which was o.k. I think that we both were disappointed that we didn't get to see a mummy! We hung out in the big "A" and had some fun. Just being together was the best part! Oh how wonderful it is to smile again!

Honesty

2008-11-14T10:02:00.001-08:00

I debated on whether to write today. I want to be totally honest in this blog and let it be a journal of my life. I guess as with everyone else there is the good and there is the bad! My life has changed drastically in the past year. They say that divorce is like a death and you know what- I believe them, especially when one spouse is betrayed! Overall, I am so much happier than I have ever been because I have discovered my true self through all the pain. I have learned that I can't please everyone and that is just one of the many valuable life lessons that I have learned. But I still have bad days. Days when I dwell on lost dreams and broken promises. Days when I wonder how my kids will turn out because of what has happened. Days when I hate the fact that I had to give up my vehicle because I couldn't afford it and days that I long to have my house back, but the mortgage was too much for a single mom. I feel like I was stripped of so many things and I am forced to start over. That is not easy. I don't feel like I am materialistic and I don't have to have the nicest house or the nicest cars, but I guess I just didn't want to give up what I had! But I truly know that I have the most important thing that Larry and I had together and that is the children. And believe me I thank God for them everyday! I just feel like I have so much resentment built up inside me right now and all I want to do is hide and cry for a while. Please pray for me and specifically that I will find peace in my life.

2008-11-13T11:00:00.000-08:00

I am so excited! Ernie and I are going to see the King Tut exhibit in Atlanta this weekend! We were actually wanting to see a Falcons game and they are sold out for the remainder of the season- GO FALCONS!! It will just be the two of us and we need some couple time. I think all couples need some time without the kids! Jacob and Emily will be with their daddy and Colton will stay with Gram Gram. It is so wonderful to be excited about things again!!!

Jacob's Fun List

2008-11-07T05:40:00.000-08:00

We are headed for McRae tomorrow and I am so glad! I will get to visit with my parents and my grandma. And Mr. E will get to see where I grew up and have a chance to better get to know my family. My children are ecstatic and can't wait to get there! Honestly, I feel the same way! Jacob made a list this morning of what he wants to do this weekend with his Papa. This is what he wrote:

Fun List:
1. ride the forweeler
2. go get ice crem
3. go get pizza
4. ride your new trakter
5. go sqraw hunting (squirrel)
6. go bird hunting
7. make me a club house
8. play on the cupputer
9. some other things

You gotta love kids!!! How can I be bitter when I am so blessed!

Bitten by the Bitter Bug

2008-11-07T04:54:00.000-08:00

My computer has been acting a bit crazy here lately and I have not been able to post! It has been a wild couple of weeks. It seems that the holidays come around and things start getting out of hand. Plus- I am already upset about having to swap the kids around during Thanksgiving and Christmas. And to think that I will have to do that until they are 18! I'm selfish- I want them all to myself for the entire holiday! Needless to say...life has thrown me a curve ball!
Halloween was fun, but challenging. Jacob stayed with me and Emily was with her daddy. I missed seeing her dressed up and the whole time Jacob Trick or Treated I was looking for my Em. I can tell you one thing for sure- it is SO much easier to be bitter when things go wrong. Last week I fought the "bitterness bug" all week long! There are times when I just want to put up a wall and keep everyone out! "No Trespassing" is what my sign would say. If no one gets in then no one can hurt me. Love is a risk... and there are days when I want to hold all the cards. But I know that that is no way to live. That's when I call in the exterminator!!

Cheetah Girls

2008-10-27T12:55:00.000-07:00

Emily is going to see The Cheetah Girls live in concert this Thursday night! I can't believe it! My baby is going to her first concert! She is so into High School Musical, Hannah Montana and all that other girl stuff! Her very best friend Carysta invited her to go! I am going to get her a disposable camera so she can record the night! I hope that she has a BLAST!

Me, Miss E, and the Weekend

2008-10-27T11:54:00.000-07:00

What a wonderful weekend I had with my princess. We literally spent the entire weekend together! Saturday we spent the day at Girl Scout camp tie dying t-shirts, making SWAPS, painting hiking sticks, making S'mores by the campfire and various other things that girls like to do! By the time we got home Saturday night we were exhausted, but happy! Sunday we went to a baby shower and Emily loved it. She got to participate in the games and fun. It was so much fun watching her. She is so outgoing and not shy one bit! I love it- I wish that I would have been more like that as a child! I absolutely adore spending time with my children one on one. I think that they need it as much as I do!

What a Week

2008-10-24T04:51:00.000-07:00

I say "what a week", but honestly it has just been an ordinary week. It is strange how sometimes an ordinary week with ordinary responsibilities will kick your butt! I am just so glad that today is Friday! I need a serious break from my second graders!! I doubt there will be much rest this weekend though. Tonight I am going to a Mary Kay party with my girlfriends and I will spend tomorrow with Emily at Girl Scout camp. I am the assistant troop leader so I will be busy, busy, busy! But it is worth it- Emily had so much fun last year! Plus I enjoy spending time with just my girl. She is going to see High School Musical 3 tonight with her best friend! Why do they have to grow up so fast??? Jacob, Colton, and Ernie are going to have some "guy" time tonight and tomorrow. Well, enough rambling for now!

2008-10-22T10:04:00.000-07:00

Unconditional Love

Unconditional love is
God’s greatest gift!

No boundaries - no strings
- no conditions to be met.

No mystery -
no beginning - no end.

It just IS!

Just there in the NOW
and in each TOMORROW!

Undefeatable!

Think about it- there is no love unless it is unconditional!

Where, Oh Where???

2008-10-22T08:23:00.000-07:00

Oh where have I been? Where do I begin? Last Tuesday Mr. E had to take a test in Macon and I had an eye appointment so he and I and the three kids rode together. He had been feeling bad and having chest and left arm pains for days. I could look at him and see the pain on his face. He has high blood pressure and I was very concerned about his heart. Anyway, to make a long story short, I talked him into going to the Medical Center since we were in Macon. He looked pale and was in so much pain. They admitted him because his blood pressure was VERY high and his cholesterol was EXTREMELY high! After two days of test they ruled out his heart and sent him home, but the pain was still there. He has been in so much pain and it escalates at night when he lays down. I can look at him and see the worn look on his face. Thank God he has a regular doctor's appointment today and I hope that she can help him get some relief. I honestly don't think that he can go on much longer like he is now! I will keep you posted on what he finds out today!

A Long Weekend!

2008-10-10T07:54:00.000-07:00

I am so glad the I get off at 1:00 today and I am off on Monday! Emily and I have hair appointments today at 1:15 so we will get to spend some good girl time together! Jacob has soccer tomorrow morning and Georgia plays tomorrow, but other than that the rest of the weekend is unplanned and that is just the way I like it! I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!!

Princess Emily

2008-10-08T07:47:00.001-07:00

This is my most favorite girl in the whole world! She has the most spitfire attitude I have ever seen in a 36 pound six year old! If Emily wants it, Emily gets it! She definitely gets her determination from me! If she can't get it at first all she has to do is bat those big beautiful blue eyes and smile and the world is at her feet! Everyone says she looks like me, but I know that Emily is much more beautiful than I have ever been!
She loves animals and Scout is "her" cat or shall I say baby! She is a very good helper and she loves to help me in the kitchen. She loves music and Hannah Montana and High School Musical are her favorite! As soon as she could talk she was singing! She is very honest and she doesn't mind telling you exactly what she thinks! She didn't get that from me, but I sure wish I could be a little more like her in that aspect! I love you Emily Grace!

Mama's Boy

2008-10-08T07:39:00.000-07:00

God knew what he was doing when he sent me a son! I absolutely adore this child! If there ever was a "Mama's Boy" in the world Jacob would be the one! He is so much like me. He is sensitive and he gives so much love. He never wants to hurt anyone's feelings and he smiles all the time. When he was younger people would always say that he was the happiest baby that they have ever seen! He has always been happy and bursting with energy. He doesn't like to play alone and he hates to lose at anything. He has the cutest freckles across his nose and an adorable southern drawl! His personality is magnetic and he makes friends everywhere that he goes. He is bright, but he hates to read. He is a mathematician at heart! I want all the best in the world for this boy of mine! I love you Jacob Morgan!

Simple Pleasures

2008-10-07T06:02:00.000-07:00

I have found that it doesn't take much to make me happy these days. I actually have learned to find happiness within myself. I don't so much look to outside things to make me happy. Honestly, we are fooling ourselves to even think that things or people can make us happy. We are responsible for our own happiness in this world. Well, lately I can find pleasure in the simplest of things- like this plant for instance. I bought two of them at Walmart when they were half off. I already had two that I paid full price for and I wanted two more. Needless to say at half off they were not inthe best of shape so I had to nurse them back to life. I am so happy to see that my efforts have paid off and that makes me smile. Some simple little blooms on a plant can make me smile- now that is a wonderful thing!

Scout

2008-10-07T04:44:00.001-07:00

I love this cat! I haven't always loved cats and I don't really like them now- I just like this one! He came along at just the right time. He came along when the kids and I needed comforting the most and he has made us smile on days when none of us wanted to smile! We rescued Scout from the shelter, but little did he know- he rescued us!

Wonderful Weekend

2008-10-06T09:34:00.000-07:00

We had a wonderful weekend! Friday I was off because I had a doctors appointment. I have iritis yet again and regardless of my attempts to rid my eye of it, it would not go away. So I had to give it up and go see the Doc! My right eye is terrible, but sooner or later it will get better! I met my dear friend Julie for lunch and zipped around town and hit some clearance racks. I found some really nice things at some really good prices. I was most proud of some Ashley Judd pants that I found at Goody's. I LOVE the way that they fit! Saturday Jacob had a soccer game and I had to work at our school Fall Festival. It is always fun to see the students having such a wonderful time. My sweetpeas did not get to go. They were with their daddy this past weekend. Oh the wonderful world of divorce! Colton and Ernie were there and Colton had a blast! Saturday night we went out to eat at the a Japanese restaurant out near the lake to celebrate Ernie and his mother's birthday. Our meal was delicious!! The atmosphere was wonderful and my company was even better! I LOVE going out with Ernie and his family. They absolutely make me deliriously happy! Can you tell by the smile on my face??

You Gotta Love This!

2008-10-02T09:32:00.000-07:00

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.
It's about learning to dance in the rain.

I hope that each and everyone of you dance. I still have two left feet sometimes, but I dance now better than I ever have!

Kids!

2008-10-01T08:06:00.000-07:00

Well, as you know Ernie's birthday was yesterday. He had to go to Macon for class and we were busy bees while he was gone. The kids and I made him a chocolate cake with cream cheese icing (his favorite) and the kids made him the cutest, sweetest cards! It was so funny! I knew they were acting mighty strange, but I didn't know what they were up to. As many of you probably know, everything is a competition when you have a 6, 7, and 9 year old. Well, they each decided that they wanted to give E some money for his birthday and it was a competition to see how much each could give. Colton had $3.00 in his, Jacob had .75 in his and when he got to Emily's I gasp! She had put $12.00 in his card! Ernie and I looked at each other and smiled real big! It wasn't that they wanted to give to him as much as they wanted to see who could give him the most just like they try to see who can eat the most or stay up the latest or give more hugs! How funny kids can be! Oh- Ernie gave all of them there money back! ;)

Happy Birthday!

2008-09-30T05:46:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Ernie! I am so glad that you were born on this day 43 years ago! You have been a blessing in my life! I love you!

20 Things About Me

2008-09-29T11:29:00.001-07:00

1. I have never ridden a horse, but I plan to in the near future!

2. I absolutely love to cruise! That is the ultimate way to travel!

3. I love to try new foods and I love to eat!

4. Photography is my absolute favorite hobby!

5. I hate to do laundry!

6. I love to shop clearance racks. Nothing gets me going like a good deal!

7. I am very thrifty and if there is a discount to be found or a way to get something free I can usually find it!

8. I used to be coined the "Ebay Queen"!

9. My favorite teacher was my second grade teacher- Mrs. Waldrop. I am glad that I am a second grade teacher myself!

10. I secretly would not mind having another little girl so that Emily would have a sister. I love my sisters and I think that everyone should have one or two!

11. I really thought that I would grow old with my first husband and raise our children together- God had other plans for me!

12. I could easily become a vegetarian!

13. I am surrounded by some really wonderful people! I am blessed!

14. I never thought that I would be dating the parent of a student that I taught. Heck- I never thought that I would date again!

15. I love Disney World like a kid!!!!!

16. I love beautiful stationary and I enjoy mailing cards and letters to those I love!

17. My favorite color is green.

18. If I get married again I plan to be barefoot on a beach!

19. My hair would be almost totally gray if I didn't color it! YIKES!!!

20. I love the way that Ernie makes me smile!

Go Dawgs!!!!!

2008-09-26T09:13:00.000-07:00

I love fall because it is Georgia Football time! Thank God my Dear Mr. E is a huge Georgia Bulldog fan, too! We spend every Saturday lounged in front of the television cheering on our favorite team! Tomorrow night they are having another Black Out. Jacob has a soccer game in the morning, my family is coming to visit, we are taking Ernie out for his birthday and we are going to watch a little football. Sounds like an awesome way to spend a Saturday to me! GO GEORGIA!

The Wrong Side of the Bed

2008-09-26T05:34:00.000-07:00

How do I manage to get in such a fix? I am SO grouchy today! Why? No particular reason. Now does that make any sense? Have you ever just had one of those days when you just wanted to be left alone all day? Or you felt like at any minute you were going to explode like a grenade and destroy everything in your path? Try having a day like that and being surrounded by 18 seven year olds! YIKES!!! I am doing some serious self- talk like I always tend to do when I need an attitude adjustment, but I can't seem to get out of this funk I am in. Say a little prayer for me today! Oh and by the way, have a terrific Friday!

My Babies

2008-09-25T10:27:00.000-07:00

Here are my sweet, adorable, spoiled, silly, precious children. What would I do without them??

2008-09-25T09:41:00.000-07:00

Change: V, To become different or undergo alteration

Before this year I thought very little of the word change and even less of its definition. Why did I need to change? My life was going good and my motto is "If it ain't broke, don't fix it!" Little did I know that my life was broken, I was broken. Sometimes we float through life wearing rose colored glasses and ear plugs. It is so easy to look back on the past 33 years and see that I was a prisoner to myself. I read something recently that said that when you divorce it brings about many changes. The key to getting through is not so much liking the changes, but being at peace with them. Wow- that rang a bell. I have had to make some really tough decisions this past year and I have had to make some tough changes, but I have learned to be at peace and that is SO LIBERATING! I sometimes think that had it not been for the divorce I would have trudged along in my "make- believe" happy world and I would have never found the true meaning of joy and happiness. How can something so beautiful come from something so ugly? I have learned that if you take on anything with the right attitude and you turn it over to God, He will use it for His glory and your eyes will be opened to the lessons that can be learned.

Inspiring

2008-09-25T04:45:00.000-07:00

I wanted to share this site with all of you. Lauren was Jacob and Emily's kindergarten teacher. She and Chris also went to church with us at Sinclair Baptist. She recently had a sweet little boy that they at one time thought would not live. He is now thriving and making progress every day! Their story has been an inspiration to me!
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/gagebrown

Kids!

2008-09-24T11:41:00.000-07:00

Here is some late afternoon humor! I know I needed some today!

The quickest way to get any kid's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Is that not the truth? After working with second graders all day and heading home to my own kids I will have to agree with this statement! I guess I have been going about attention getting the wrong way all these years!

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children she didn't know what to do.

Obviously.

I had to share this one! Maybe she should have invested in birth control!

Dreaming

2008-09-24T08:44:00.000-07:00

I am again myself- back to the old Becky! I always have a dream to work toward, but over this past year I thought that I would never dream again! I was just glad to get through the day. It is so nice to be able to dream again and think about the future! After living in the country and then in a subdivision I long to be back in the country! I can see this log cabin or one like it sitting on 100 acres overlooking a pond. I want a full basement equipped with enough bedrooms for the kids along with bathrooms and a living area and kitchen. That way when they are older they have their own space. I want to grow old there and rock in my rocking chairs on the huge back porch and enjoy the fresh air.
Most of all though I want to be happy and content with my life! I would love to have this house in the hills- but you know what? I know that I don't have to have it to be happy! I think that I have finally captured a little bit of that freedom that Ernie tells me about! :)

2008-09-24T04:35:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to share or shall I say remind everyone about this prayer. I have the entire prayer taped to my computer and honestly it has gotten me through many days. With each passing day this prayer becomes my life's theme. Ernie always tells me that I have got to be free. This prayer is the recipe for freedom! If you are like me you sometimes forget the ingredients!

All About Me

2008-09-23T06:58:00.000-07:00

First of all I am a good old country girl from South Georgia. I grew up in the country and I am trying my best to get back to it! I am 33 years old and I have two adorable, precious, lovable, squeezable children. Jacob is 7 years old and is bursting with energy! That child came into the world smiling and happy and he hasn't slowed down yet! Emily is my sassy little 6 year old princess. She is a spitfire wrapped in a beautiful package! My life would not be complete without them! I was married to my high school sweetheart for almost 13 years before we divorced. It was quite possibly the worst and best thing that ever happened to me! I have learned so much because of the divorce- things I would have never learned without going through it. I have learned to love and appreciate myself and that is a wonderful thing. God had a different plan for my life than I did. But I am so glad that He knows best. I have smiled more in the past few months than I have my whole life! It is WONDERFUL!
Of course I have had a little help with that smile of mine! I am dating a wonderful, loving man that adores me and my kids! It is a funny thing, the way that I met him. I actually taught his son last year. (By the way, I am a second grade teacher.) Colton is a precious, bright, loving child. He thinks that it is just "too cool" that his daddy is dating his favorite teacher! :) I had to throw that "favorite" part in! Ernie is so funny and he makes me laugh on an hourly basis! He gives me love like I have never had and that is a beautiful thing!
Well that is my simple, crazy life in a nutshell. I wouldn't trade it for anything!

2008-09-23T05:43:00.000-07:00

Well, I have officially joined the land of Blog! I am going to start with something that I stole from my sister! Of course I have a few more on my list than she does, but I also have a few more notches on my belt! I thought this might be a good way to start! It actually has made me want to start a Bucket List!

I have highlighted the things that I have experienced.

Have you ever:
1. Touched an iceberg
2. Slept under the stars
3. Been a part of a hockey fight
4. Changed a baby's diaper
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Swam with wild dolphins
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a tarantula
10. Said "I love you" and meant it
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Stayed up all night long and watched the sun rise
15. Seen the Northern Lights
16. Gone to a huge sports game
17. Walked the stairs to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
19. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
20. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Bet on a winning horse
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Taken an ice cold bath
28. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Ridden a roller coaster
31. Hit a home run (Does an in the field one count?)
32. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
33. Adopted an accent for fun
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Felt very happy about your life, even for just a moment
36. Loved your job 90% of the time
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Watched wild whales
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Gone on a midnight walk on the beach
41. Gone sky diving
42. Visited Ireland
43. Ever bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited India
45. Bench-pressed your own weight
46. Milked a cow
47. Alphabetized your personal files
48. Ever worn a superhero costume
49. Sung karaoke
50. Lounged around in bed all day
51. Gone scuba diving
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Done something you should regret, but don't
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Been in a movie
60. Gone without food for 3 days
61. Made cookies from scratch
62. Won first prize in a costume contest
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Been in a combat zone
65. Spoken more than one language fluently
66. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone - verbal not physical
67. Bounced a check
68. Read - and understood - your credit report
69. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy
70. Found out something significant that your ancestors did
71. Called or written your Congress person
72. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
73. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
74. Helped an animal give birth
75. Been fired or laid off from a job
76. Won money
77. Broken a bone
78. Ridden a motorcycle
79. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100 mph
80. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
81. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
82. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
83. Eaten sushi
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read The Bible cover to cover
86. Changed someones mind about something you care deeply about
87. Gotten someone fired for their actions
88. Gone back to school
89. Changed your name
90. Caught a fly in the air with your bare hands
91. Eaten fried green tomatoes
92. Read The Iliad
93. Taught yourself an art from scratch
94. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
95. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
96. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
97. Been elected to public office
98. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
99. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
100. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
101. Had a booth at a street fair
102. Dyed your hair
103. Been a DJ
104. Rocked a baby to sleep
105. Ever dropped a cat from a high place to see if it really lands on all four
106. Raked your carpet
107. Brought out the best in people
108. Brought out the worst in people
109. Worn a mood ring
110. Ridden a horse
111. Carved an animal from a piece of wood or bar of soap
112. Cooked a dish where four people asked for the recipe.
113. Buried a child
114. Gone to a Broadway (or equivalent to your country) play
115. Been inside the pyramids
116. Shot a basketball into a basket
117. Danced at a disco
118. Played in a band
119. Shot a bird
120. Gone to an arboretum
121. Tutored someone
122. Ridden a train
123. Brought an old fad back into style
124. Eaten caviar
125. Let a salesman talk you into something you didn’t need
126. Ridden a giraffe or elephant
127. Published a book
128. Pieced a quilt- (a very small one!)
129. Lived in a historic place
130. Acted in a play or performed on a stage
131. Asked for a raise
132. Made a hole-in-one (Does Putt putt count?)
133. Gone deep sea fishing
134. Gone roller skating
135. Ran a marathon
136. Learned to surf
137. Invented something
138. Flown first class1
39. Spent the night in a 5-star luxury suite
140. Flown in a helicopter
141. Visited Africa
142. Sang a solo1
43. Gone spelunking
144. Learned how to take a compliment
145. Written a love-story
146. Seen Michelangelo’s David
147. Had your portrait painted
148. Written a fan letter
149. Spent the night in something haunted
150. Owned a St. Bernard or Great Dane
151. Ran away
152. Learned to juggle
153. Been a boss
154. Sat on a jury
155. Lied about your weight
156. Gone on a diet
157. Found an arrowhead or a gold nugget
158. Written a poem
159. Carried your lunch in a lunch box
160. Gotten food poisoning
161. Gone on a service, humanitarian or religious mission
162. Hiked the Grand Canyon
163. Sat on a park bench and fed the ducks
164. Gone to the opera
165. Gotten a letter from someone famous
166. Worn knickers
167. Ridden in a limousine
168. Attended the Olympics
169. Can hula or waltz
170. Read a half dozen Nancy Drew or Hardy Boys books
171. Been stuck in an elevator
172. Had a revelatory dream
173. Thought you might crash in an airplane
174. Had a song dedicated to you on the radio or at a concert
175. Saved someone’s life
176. Eaten raw whale
177. Know how to tat, smock or do needlepoint
178. Laughed till your side hurt
179. Straddled the equator
180. Taken a photograph of something other than people that is worth framing
181. Gone to a Shakespeare Festival
182. Sent a message in a bottle
183. Spent the night in a hostel
184. Been a cashier
185. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
186. Joined a union
187. Donated blood or plasma
188. Built a camp fire
189. Kept a blog
190. Had hives
191. Worn custom made shoes or boots
192. Made a PowerPoint presentation
193. Taken a Hunter’s Safety Course
194. Served at a soup kitchen
195. Conquered the Rubik’s cube
196. Know CPR
197. Ridden in or owned a convertible
198. Found a long lost friend
199. Helped solve a crime
200. Responded to a NJP newsletter